Laughing With You or Laughing At You
Laughing with you or laughing at you?
I’m not sure anyone gets through the public school system without getting bullied. Growing up, it was a fact of life for me and just about anyone I knew, perpetrated by those who, in retrospect, had some difficult home lives. I developed an allergy to folks laughing at me. So, when as a fairly young boy I dropped a hose with one of those trigger nozzles on the ground only to get a generous face full of water in the presence of my grandpa and dad, I didn’t react well to them laughing. They tried to explain and apologize, but while I accepted the apology, understanding came much later. The distinguishing characteristics between laughing with someone and laughing at someone are subtle.
Part of dealing with this, for sure, is learning how to take ourselves less seriously than we do. Getting laughed at hurts our pride. In the movie “The Mission,” Mendoza’s (Robert De Niro) prized possession was his pride – and when Gabriel (Jeremy Irons) openly admitted to laughing at him because of the pathetic position his pride had put him in, it was the start of Mendoza’s healing and redemption. And you know what? Laughing in the Bible is often of this sort. We see that in Psalm 2:4 or 59:8, where the Lord laughs at those who set themselves against Him. It is ridiculous for anyone to think they could thwart God – laughable. It is also a warning in places like Ezekiel 22:4 to turn to God and see Him fully. If that’s what it takes for repentance, then even this kind of laughter is good.
But then there is the other kind of laughter. It’s the laughing with. That’s the kind of laughing my dad and grandpa were really engaged in when I got that face full of water. Sure, it was funny, but it’s deeper than that because as family our experiences are shared. We all have skin in the game so to speak. Healthy families don’t laugh at each other, they laugh with each other, drawing from wells of belonging. That’s what happens in God’s family too. It happens in Psalm 126:2 when God calls all His children together in restoration and their joy is complete in His blessings. Jesus echoes that sentiment in Luke 6:21, where mourning will turn to laughter. He further makes clear the source of our rejoicing (which also draws from a shared reality) – that our names written in heaven (Luke 10:20). Together.
I’ve been reflecting on this as I contemplate the joy I have in being with my brothers and sisters in Christ, who have a like-mindedness springing from a Christlike attitude, and share in a same love, dedicated to being one in spirit and purpose (see Philippians 2). I shouldn’t be surprised at this joy, but sometimes it is overwhelming, especially when I compare it with so many of my other interactions. Let the world laugh at us – we’re laughing with each other.